Jeff Rosen June 9, 1958 – March 17, 2009
Jeff was a warm, loving and generous man. His life centered on his family and friends, whom he adored. Melissa was the love of his life and soulmate for 33 years. He loved his work; it was important to him to help others pursue justice. He was passionate about music and sports. Go Giants!! Some of Jeff’s favorite times were spent in the green chairs at Tuolumne Family Camp, rocking out at concerts, visiting family and friends around the country, getting together for sing-alongs, and participating in activities with his children. Jeff touched all of our lives in so many ways. He will remain in our hearts always.
“River gonna to take me,
sing me sweet and sleepy,
sing me sweet and sleepy
all the way back home.
It’s a far gone lullaby,
sung many years ago.
Mama, mama, many worlds I’ve come since I first left home.
Goin’ home, goin’ home, by the waterside I will rest my bones,
listen to the river sing sweet songs, to rock my soul.”
sing me sweet and sleepy,
sing me sweet and sleepy
all the way back home.
It’s a far gone lullaby,
sung many years ago.
Mama, mama, many worlds I’ve come since I first left home.
Goin’ home, goin’ home, by the waterside I will rest my bones,
listen to the river sing sweet songs, to rock my soul.”
From "Brokedown Palace"
-- Hunter/Garcia
-- Hunter/Garcia
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One day in November 1966, a moving van pulled up on the block and the next day a new kid showed up in my 3rd grade class. His name was Jeff. We quickly became friends and started to spend a lot of our time together. To be more accurate, we did almost everything together. Walked to school, traded baseball cards in the playground, played in the afternoons, made birdhouses at cub scouts, and rode our bikes everywhere on the weekends. Yes, we shared many interests, but above that, I always found Jeff to be so comfortable to be around.
As our friendship continued through junior high and high school, it grew stronger. We enjoyed some of our time together playing basketball after school. Now where Jeff was pretty good on the court, I was not. Jeff was still supportive, tried to teach me some shots, (I still had the hardest time making a layup) – but that didn’t matter to Jeff. The important thing for him was just to have a good time together. And we did.
Some days I’d go over to Jeff’s house and ask him if he wanted to go somewhere and he would say “sure, right after this tv show ends ”. It occurred to me that he was more than a casual tv watcher. Yes, it started at a young age. He enjoyed sitcoms with a positive message, like M.A.S.H., where strong bonds of friendship and loyalty were exhibited. Jeff certainly came to embody these traits. And of course, there was All in The Family, with Archie’s son-in-law, Michael, an outspoken supporter of peace, justice and equal rights for all. Jeff too became passionate to these causes. Another favorite of his was Star Trek, the original one, where Kirk the great orator would share some poignant philosophical message or life lesson near the end of each show. Jeff acquired these skills as well. More than once when Jeff was fighting cancer, I thought “he can’t die, we need him to make a great speech at the funeral”. He was certainly in Captain Kirk’s league.
In the Spring of 9th grade we decided to go to our first rock concert together – you guessed it – The Grateful Dead. We had the barest clue who this band was and the phenomenon that we were participating in. Nonetheless, we came out of that show feeling like we had experienced something quite special, and we wanted more. The next day Jeff asked his mom to drive him to the record store and came home with their most recent release -Europe ’72. Great choice.
Over the next three years, together we amassed many of their albums and knew there was something magical for us about this band’s music.
Jeff’s interest in music grew fast and wide through high school – buying albums and singles, going to concerts, hanging rock posters in his room. By the time he got to college – he landed the perfect gig –working at the record co-op and getting albums at wholesale. Well, his record collection grew exponentially, but the record co-op was much more just a discount record store to Jeff. It was a place to share music with others, to talk about it, to turn others on to music they were unfamiliar with, to share the joy of music. Jeff retained this great quality for the rest of his life. Many people can attest to the fact that Jeff turned them on to lots of great music. He really loved sharing that.
By the time he graduated college, he and Melissa, who had been dating since high school, got their first apartment together. They were a great couple from the start. And you know, sometimes a couple’s love for each other ends up shutting out some of their prior group of friends. But not for Jeff. It was important for him to have Melissa and all of his other friends included in his life. And he did.
For the next 30 years, music remained a great passion. From sing-a-longs with friends, and trading concert tapes and CD’s, to making sure his upcoming concert ticket drawer was never empty. One thing Jeff loved to do for upcoming concerts was to make it a large group event, extending invitations to many. How many times would he then purchase extra tickets, just in case someone changed their mind. To be able to give someone a ticket at the last minute to a sold out show was another level of his joy of sharing the music and sharing his love.
Law School brought Jeff to California (I believe he considered it the other promised land). It didn’t hurt that the members of the Grateful Dead lived here, and hey, what’s not to love about the Greek Theater?
Living on the west coast never stopped Jeff from coming back east with Melissa, and later, with the kids to visit with family and friends. He would often plan get-togethers with his east coast friends, so we could all share a day of fun, and catching up with Jeff, Liss and the kids. His love and warmth was always apparent.
Watching Jeff with his kids, Emmy, and Sammy, you could see how much he loved them, cared for them, and taught them the important lessons, all with great compassion.
It was important to Jeff to reach out to those he loved. Geographic distance was not an obstacle. When I visited with Jeff last July, he played some new music for me that made me smile. A week later a package arrived in my mailbox back in NY – a copy of the CD, plus, another CD of interesting music that he wanted to share. It made me smile again. Even in his last six months, while fighting his difficult battle with cancer, he mustered up the energy to make it to his cousin’s wedding in Seattle, and his friend’s Bat Mitzvah in Massachusetts. And of course, he made the toasts. These are a testament to his love for all his family and friends. We were all lucky to have shared some part of our lives with him.
I’d like to share a few words of Jeff’s with you, that he wrote in a poem years ago, called Transcending:
Don’t ask me for directions, and don’t talk to me ‘bout the weather
Mother nature will calm the storm, and we’re all lost together
It’s so hard to just see the winds whirl, When you’re the eye of the hurricane
So hard to step back and watch, while you’re riding on the train
Lifelong ticket on an endless train, lifelong player in an endless game
Collector of stuff, layers thick, A peaceful essence is the trick.
The perennial set list maker, he made his final one a few weeks ago. The songs were about love, friendship, life lessons, and songs about peace and justice. Included in this were the words of Robert Hunter that so many of us have sung for so long. Jeff’s great spirit has now left this brokedown palace. I hope the river is singing him sweet songs and rocking his soul. Fare you well Jeff, we love you more than words can tell.
(Note: For anyone reading this, I would be remiss if I didn’t add one very important part that Jeff played in my life – when we were 21, he introduced me to Marcia. Marcia and I have had the joy of sharing our lives together for the last 26 terrific years. Thanks Jeff.)
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