Jeff Rosen’s East Coast Memorial 4/11/09

It 's so great to see everyone here today, especially Melissa, Emily and Sam. What a testament to our great friend Jeff. With apologies to The Book of Ecclesiastes, Pete Seeger and the Byrds:

To everything there is a season;
A time for everything under the sun.
A time to be born and a time to die,
A time to laugh and a time to mourn,
A time to seek and a time to lose.
A time to cast away stones,
and a time to gather stones together.
A time to refrain from embracing and
A time to embrace.

This is a time we gather to remember someone who gave meaning to our lives. This is the time we recall the bonds that hold us, the love we shared and the memories that sustain us.

I met Jeff about 30 years ago, back in college days, through Neil, either in Oneonta or Binghamton. As so many of us in this room have done, we shared a love of music. We both collected lots of it, spun records, yes, records!...on college radio, made mixed tapes for our friends and listened and discussed it unendingly. We also shared a love of sport, especially the Yankees. Both passionate liberals, over the last 20 years Jeff frequently accused me of moving to the right, though I think that had more to do with moving back to the East coast than any abandonment of liberalism. But he liked to tease me. The truth of the matter is we felt similarly about many things. Our common interests and attitudes formed the basis of a wonderful, long-lasting friendship.

While considering what I wanted to share, I tried putting my finger on what I loved about our good friend-what drew me to him. First and foremost, Jeff had an enormous heart. His energy, warmth and kindness were qualities that made him easily approachable and full of love. Jeff wasn’t terribly caught up in life’s material things- he would certainly give you the shirt off his back. I admired that quality about him. He was the embodiment of “it’s better to give than receive” in life and in his frequent role as music disseminator or ticket “czar” (his words, not mine.) Jeff was also always there for me in my darkest days. He was there for me when my mom passed away and when my sister died last summer, even while in the midst of his own battle.

One of the things I appreciated and loved most about our dear friend was his intellect. He had a way of shining a light into the dark corner of a problem or issue that often illuminated things in a way not previously considered. I don’t think Jeff so much “became” an attorney as discovered his true calling. He was well-suited for his profession…a calm disposition, a keen intellect and a big heart….wonderful attributes found in only the best lawyers….and qualities that truly made him a great friend!

A great example of Jeff’s wit and skill and in the true Jewish tradition of arguing in favor of a position just for the sake of arguing, Jeff and I carried on an often hilarious debate over the last few years about whether Barry Bond’s disposition and steroid use tarnished his standing as a great ballplayer. Needless to say, Jeff argued in favor and I, against. We never really got the chance to do the same about A-Rod. I think it’s an argument he would have won.

First Larry, then Neil, then me, followed by Jeff and Melissa,
Brenda, Sharon, Matt and Marcia (apologies to Terri and Bob for leaving them off this list when it was spoken) and in no particular order, made the pilgrimage to San Francisco in the early Eighties. Those were heady times for us all…the optimism and promise of life in our twenties…for some, more school…others, careers. But my overwhelming memory of those halcyon days was of friendship, joy, freedom and music…lots of Grateful Dead. I remember going to so many Dead Concerts and hangin’ with Jeff, Melissa and the many other members of the “gang” in the Bay Area and just having an incredible time. I have specific memories of Jeff that may be similar for many of us here. We’d be at a concert and Jerry would rip off a lick, maybe the first note or chord to Franklin’s Tower or Terrapin or Morning Dew and I’d take a look at Jeff or he at me and we’d both know….you guys know what I mean….that instant mind meld…and Jeff would mouth a “WOW” and we’d both take off to another planet somewhere. It was the power of music, the power of love. Talk about comrades in arms, Jeff was truly a brother to me in every sense of the word.

Over the last 20 years our relationship deepened despite the encumbrance of 3000 miles. Elana and I got married and began raising a family…occasionally getting out to California to spend time with Jeff, Melissa, Emily, Sam and friends. Annually we shared their Passover visits with many of the East Coasters here today. Over the years Elana and my children grew to know and love Jeff. Both Shayna, who couldn’t be here today and Jesse were moved by Jeff’s passing and supported Elana and I in our grief.

Melissa, Emily and Sam, our love, thoughts and prayers have been with you the last 15 months. I think I speak for all of us who couldn’t make it to the funeral that it was painful and deeply sad to not be there to personally provide love and support to your family. We’re very grateful to have the opportunity to have this special day with you.

Jeff and I got to spend some great time together when I visited last September. I gave him a book that I inscribed which quoted from “The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost. Upon my return, I received an e-mail saying, among other things, that it has always been one of his favorite poems….funny how that works, huh?

The Road Not Taken


Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;



Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that, the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,



And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I marked the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way

I doubted if I should ever come back.



I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.





Our dear friend has taken a road we’ll all travel someday. But he’s left us a well worn path that’s as comfortable as an old pair of shoes. With a wink and a nod, a sparkle in his eye, he’s left us all behind to choose our own paths, to make a difference in this world because we still can. The world was a better place with Jeff Rosen in it. We will all miss him very much.

“Wild Horses” played by Jesse Levy and sung by Larry Friedman and Jesse and Alan Levy and the rest of a crowded room.